When you feel the waves of emotions start to take over give yourself permission to just let go. I do! Some days I just feel my heart beginning to race, my eyes well up with tears and a feeling takes over me. It’s not that I’m sad, or depressed, or angry; or maybe it is, but its like combination of everything and anything. I’ve learned to listen to my body in my middle-aged years and when I start to feel this emotional I know that I’m tired, I’m worried, I’m overthinking and I just need to let it all go!! A good cry never hurt anyone and in all honesty if I bottle up my emotions I would be a daily mess.
I think that we all suffer from some form of anxiety and depression some days. There is so much pressure to be successful, to be the next big thing, to be rich, to be smart, to be beautiful, to be thin, to be perfect at everything we do. But what is perfect? And to whom are we trying to be perfect for?
I grew up without the internet and cell phones but there was always this unspoken pressure to be perfect; to grow up, get married, raise a family and have a successful career. Sounds easy enough, grow up, study hard, meet the perfect man, have the perfect children, raise a perfect family and all the while having a successful career. But as many know, and as I know from experience this doesn’t work out this way for everyone. And do you know what? That’s ok because what we thought to be the perfect life was just an interpretation of what we thought a perfect life should be.
I can’t imagine raising children in today’s society of technology, dealing with children who not only feel the standard pressure of growing up but also the pressure form the technology world.
Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, more organized, more connected and it does in one respect but at what cost to these young people who feel the pressure of such an online arena to be perfect. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy technology and have been able to keep in touch with old school friends and family that I may not have been able to without it and I love to read and learn so having so much information at my fingertips is my internal high. The ability to work remotely with people across the world is indescribable and so rewarding. Also, now having my own blog and the ability to write about anything I want without direction is freedom at its finest.
But somedays I feel overwhelmed by everything. Everything I’ve gone through in my life, everything I do, everything I want to do and haven’t done. It’s that old image of being perfect and the thought that maybe I failed that or missed the opportunity to be so. It’s a combination of past, present and future disappointments and expectations I guess.
Now I a middle aged woman so there are probably some hormone factors playing a role here and I understand that too. But one thing I always tell myself no matter how I’m feeling is that I am perfect, I’m perfect to me!! And that’s all that really matters is how I feel about myself.
I have made mistakes and will probably make more along the way, some days I don’t feel beautiful and some days I do, some days I feel like I’m overweight and some days I feel healthy, some days I feel like I’m a good person and some days I feel like I could do more, some days I miss the people that were once in my life and some days I cherish the memories I have of them. I think what it comes down to is me being too damn hard on myself.
So when these moments come where I just need a good cry, I give myself permission to do so. I let it all out! As silly as it might seem I feel better and then I tell myself all the wonderful things that I am and have done. There is no use in dwelling on the negative aspects in your life, enjoy the positive things.
I will continue to be thankful for everyday and to take each day as it comes with a smile and coffee!! (One of my favourite sayings!)
Hope you’re enjoying your day!!!